LOVE DARE #40

Day 40: Love is a Covenant

WRITE OUT A RENEWAL OF YOUR VOWS AND PLACE THEM IN YOUR HOME. PERHAPS, IF APPROPRIATE, YOU COULD MAKE ARRANGEMENTS TO FORMALLY RENEW YOUR WEDDING VOWS BEFORE A MINISTER AND WITH FAMILY PRESENT. MAKE IT A LIVING TESTAMENT TO THE VALUE OF MARRIAGE IN GOD'S EYES AND THE HIGH HONOR OF BEING ONE WITH YOUR MATE.

Our final LOVE DARE. Congratulations - forty days and forty nights completed. It's been an amazing journey. We've reached the end of the LOVE DARE commitment, but the commitment of loving your spouse will never come to an end. Consider this as an opportunity to establish a new covenant - a covenant, not a contract. The two seem similar, but are actually very different.

We sign a contract outlining timeframes, conditions, and agreed-upon consequences if broken. But a covenant is based on trust with no expiration date - never intended to be broken. Marriage is the strongest covenant on earth between two people - pledging unconditional love for a lifetime. It's not something you can do on your own strength, but God - the One who initiated the first covenant - will enable you to succeed as a covenant keeper.

Your marriage is before you now – it’s in your hands. What will it be - mediocre? Good enough to get by? We ask you - we DARE you - make it a "Championship Marriage." Game on!

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God" (Ruth 1:16).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Happy Valentine's Day! May it be your best ever. We pray for all marriages - and ask you to pray for one another, as well.

We want to remind you that Dale and I will be teaching the "Championship Marriage" session this Sunday, February 13 at College Church of the Nazarene (Olathe, KS) in room K-102 at 11:00 am. We would love for you to join us. If you would like us to speak to your group, please contact us.

Blessings for a "LOVE DARE" life,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #39

Day 39: Love Endures

SPEND TIME IN PERSONAL PRAYER, THEN WRITE A LETTER OF COMMITMENT AND RESOLVE TO YOUR SPOUSE. INCLUDE WHY YOU ARE COMMITTING TO THIS MARRIAGE UNTIL DEATH, AND THAT YOU HAVE PURPOSED TO LOVE THEM NO MATTER WHAT. LEAVE IT IN A PLACE THAT YOUR MATE WILL FIND IT.

It's hard to believe we're down to our last two LOVE DARES. We've prayed for you continuously throughout this journey. So, how's it going? We've heard wonderful stories, but what about you? Are you feeling you've given it your "all," but to no avail? Your spouse is not responding - standing alone -rejected? What do you do now?

You continue to love. Why? Because love endures; love never fails. Peter told Jesus, "I will never fall away.... Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You" (Matthew 26:33,35). Within hours of Peter's promise - as well as promises from the other disciples - they failed Him. Yet, Jesus never stopped loving them. In fact, He continued to forge ahead to the cross - to die for them.

Love as Jesus loved; love your spouse - even when it's not received. Love as you promised - until death. (Don't get any ideas here.) Love that is from God is unstoppable - it endures.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:8).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: If your spouse walks away and your marriage fails, let it not be because you didn't do your part - gave up, stopped trying or stopped loving them. Love refuses to give up.

As we approach Valentine's Day and our final LOVE DARE, we want to remind you that Dale and I are teaching the "Championship Marriage" session this Sunday, February 13 at College Church of the Nazarene (Olathe, KS) in room K-102 at 11:00 am. We would love for you to join us. In fact, we "DARE" you!

Blessings for an "unstoppable" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #38

Day 38: Love Fulfills Dreams

ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOUR MATE WOULD WANT IF IT WAS OBTAINABLE. COMMIT THIS TO PRAYER, AND START MAPPING OUT A PLAN FOR MEETING SOME (IF NOT ALL) OF THEIR DESIRES, TO WHATEVER LEVEL YOU POSSIBLY CAN.

Dreams, goals, and desires - we all have them. In fact, God placed them in our hearts. Every New Year's Day, Dale and I go out to lunch for the specific purpose of establishing and sharing our goals with each other. It's quite a process - hours of planning. The result? We know how (or what) to pray for - and how to assist in achieving our goals and fulfilling our dreams.

Not all dreams and desires are the big ones; they come in all shapes and sizes. Fortunately, we can easily fulfill small, daily desires such as: treat her like a lady; treat him with respect. Listen and learn about your spouse. Be their cheerleader, dream giver. Unmet desires - recent setbacks? Offer grace. Jesus did when we didn't deserve it. He is our model - imitate Him.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: If it's important to your spouse, make it important to you. Take it to a new level of love today - go for the "goal."

Blessings for a "dream-filling" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #37

Day 37: Love Agrees in Prayer

ASK YOUR SPOUSE IF YOU CAN BEGIN PRAYING TOGETHER. TALK ABOUT THE BEST TIME TO DO THIS, WHETHER IT'S IN THE MORNING, YOUR LUNCH HOUR, OR BEFORE BEDTIME. USE THIS TIME TO COMMIT YOUR CONCERNS, DISAGREEMENTS, AND NEEDS BEFORE THE LORD. DON'T FORGET TO THANK HIM FOR HIS PROVISION AND BLESSING. EVEN IF YOUR SPOUSE REFUSES TO DO THIS, RESOLVE TO SPEND THIS DAILY TIME IN PRAYER YOURSELF.

Yes, it's true - prayer changes things. Big decision? Take it to the Lord. (As Creator of the universe - He's got some pretty good insight.) Hurt? He's waiting. Fighting? Grab hands and pray.

Dale and I learned many years ago that regardless of the situation - who's right or what's wrong - to grab hands (even when we're pretty bent out of shape), and pray about the situation. It's hard to stay angry (or ugly) when we've called on God to intervene. We may not get to a "happy place" right away, but taking time to pause with God stops the bleeding and promotes the healing.

God wants you to come to Him, so He can help you and guide you. "Awkward," you say. "I don't know how to pray." Can you talk? If so, you can pray. Go ahead - try it at least one time.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father" (Matthew 18:19).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Blessings will fall on your marriage when you agree in prayer. Prayer is a privilege. Make it a standing appointment. Keep God in the middle of everything.

Blessings for a "hand-grabbing" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #36

Day 36: Love is God's Word

COMMIT TO READING THE BIBLE EVERY DAY. FIND A DEVOTIONAL BOOK OR OTHER RESOURCE THAT WILL GIVE YOU SOME GUIDANCE. IF YOUR SPOUSE IS OPEN TO IT, SEE IF THEY WILL COMMIT TO DAILY BIBILE READING WITH YOU. BEGIN SUBMITTING EACH AREA OF YOUR LIFE TO ITS GUIDANCE AND START BUILDING ON THE ROCK.

"Who has time to read the Bible every day? Career, kids, exercise, 'To Do' lists - are you kidding me?" Those were my thoughts nearly twenty years ago. That is, until the void in my heart remained unfilled. So, I made a pack with a friend in the same boat (sinking ship). She and I committed to setting our alarms ten minutes earlier each morning for Bible study time. That wasn't too painful. So, two weeks later, we added another ten. From that day on, my time with God has never ceased - increasing over the years.

What's so great about reading the Bible? It's just a book, right? The Bible is so much more. It's our compass - guided by the Holy Spirit. God reveals His plan for everything in His Word. Unlike other books, the Bible rains down (sometimes pours) a fresh and new Word every day. It's a living book - because the Author is still alive - in fact, He’s our cruise director.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" (Psalm 119:105).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Study the Word and share new insights with one another. Start with ten minutes. Avoid becoming the "captain of the Titanic" in your home.

Blessings for a "smooth sailing" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #35

Day 35: Love is Accountable

FIND A MARRIAGE MENTOR - SOMEONE WHO IS A STRONG CHRISTIAN AND WHO WILL BE HONEST AND LOVING WITH YOU. IF YOU FEEL THAT COUNSELING IS NEEDED, THEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP TO SET UP AN APPOINTMENT. DURING THIS PROCESS, ASK GOD TO DIRECT YOUR DECISIONS AND DISCERNMENT.

Last spring, a perfectly shaped Bradford Pear tree adorned our front yard with beautiful white blossoms. Today stands merely a stump - the result of an ice storm. Bradford Pears are fragile - unlike strong, enduring Sequoia trees. The secret to the enduring strength of the mighty Sequoia tree lies beneath the surface. Sequoias reach out and interlock their roots - reinforcing and empowering one another to survive the fiercest of storms.

A strong healthy marriage exhibits this same Sequoia secret. A couple who faces storms alone will more likely fall apart. A couple who interlocks with other strong Christian couples can survive the fiercest of storms. Wise people seek godly advice and gladly receive it. Fools never ask for it - or ignore it when it's given. "Branch" out - seek godly advice, experienced mentors, and healthy friendships today.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed" (Proverbs 15:22).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Is there a fierce storm brewing in your marriage? Don’t be “stumped.” Pursue godly counsel as quickly as possible. Reach out, interlock - grow strong and blossom.

Blessings for a "Sequoia" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #34

Day 34: Love Celebrates Godliness

FIND A SPECIFIC, RECENT EXAMPLE WHEN YOUR SPOUSE DEMONSTRATED CHRISTIAN CHARACTER IN A NOTICEABLE WAY. VERBALLY COMMEND THEM FOR THIS AT SOME POINT TODAY.

When Dale and I first met, he displayed about 200 trophies around his bachelor-decorated house. A short time later, he tossed every single one of them. (Don't jump to conclusions - his idea, not mine.) (Prayer works, though.)

His achievements and success were evident in every room of his house. However, no trophy will shine brighter or stand taller than his love and walk with God. That's a lifetime trophy that will never be tarnished or tossed. The way he leads our prayer time, Bible study conversations, and devotion to God. That's the real trophy of success in anyone’s life. How about yours?

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth" (1 Corinthians 13:6).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Applaud your spouse's godly success today. Win the Super Bowl of life - and cheer on your MVP!

Blessings for a "winning" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #33

Day 33: Love Completes Each Other

RECOGNIZE THAT YOUR SPOUSE IS INTEGRAL TO YOUR FUTURE SUCCESS. LET THEM KNOW TODAY THAT YOU DESIRE TO INCLUDE THEM IN YOUR UPCOMING DECISIONS, AND THAT YOU NEED THEIR PERSPECTIVE AND COUNSEL. IF YOU HAVE IGNORED THEIR INPUT IN THE PAST, ADMIT YOUR OVERSIGHT AND ASK THEM TO FORGIVE YOU.

If we were to continue with a math analysis, today's LOVE DARE would debunk the 1+1=1. In actuality, 1+1= a whole lot more! Depending on your personality style, you may like accomplishing things on your own - independent. However, we don't just independently coexist in the same home. In fact, when working together, we multiply the effectiveness of our accomplishments.

In other words - synergy. Let's use a musical note for an example. One note - sounds okay, but combine a bunch of notes together and we create beautiful music. When we work together as a team, we harmonize.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?" (Ecclesiastes 4:11).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Working together, we are greater than the sum of our independent parts. Make your marriage = a whole lot more. Complete the equation - complete each other.

Blessings for a "musical" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #32

Day 32: Love Meets Sexual Needs

IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, TRY TO INITIATE SEX WITH YOR HUSBAND OR WIFE TODAY. DO THIS IN A WAY THAT HONORS WHAT YOUR SPOUSE HAS TOLD YOU (OR IMPLIED TO YOU) ABOUT WHAT THEY NEED FROM YOU SEXUALLY. ASK GOD TO MAKE THIS ENJOYABLE FOR BOTH OF YOU AS WELL AS A PATH TO GREATER INTIMACY.

Okay, close your jaw; don't kill the messenger. As awkward as this topic can be, the Bible has a great deal to say on this subject. Sex described in the Bible is not the same as what's depicted in movies, on television, or the internet. Enticing maybe, but "R" rated impressions can capture our hearts and ultimately destroy our marriages.

Reality is – thighs expand, bellies protrude, and headaches happen! Babies wear us out, teenagers cause stress, work demands, and priorities change. But a healthy, strong, vibrant marriage pursues holiness and purity with romance and sexual needs met. God created sexual intimacy, not the movie producers. His plan is for man and wife to love, fulfill, and enjoy one another - placing value on each other's needs as higher than our own.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband" (1 Corinthians 7:3).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: God called you to tenderly meet your spouse's needs. Different desires? Discover a middle ground and reestablish a loving union between the two of you.

Blessings for an "aspirin-free" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #31

Day 31: Love and Marriage

IS THERE A "LEAVING" ISSUE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN BRAVE ENOUGH TO CONQUER YET? CONFESS IT TO YOUR SPOUSE TODAY, AND RESOLVE TO MAKE IT RIGHT. THE ONENESS OF YOUR MARRIAGE IS DEPENDENT UPON IT. FOLLOW THIS WITH A COMMITMENT TO YOUR SPOUSE AND TO GOD TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE THE TOP PRIORITY OVER EVERY OTHER HUMAN RELATIONSHIP.

Good morning everyone, class is in session. World class, that is. We discovered that these LOVE DARES are currently read in twelve different countries! God is at work around the world. Who knew?

Yesterday we learned a new "Marriage Math:" 1+1=1 (a "one"derful marriage). Today we will study "Marriage Geometric Shapes." What "shape" is your marriage in?

• CIRCLE - Endless circle of love, no sides, joined together forever.
• TRIANGLE - God is at the top, husband on one point, wife on the other. As each one strives to grow closer to God at the top of the triangle, you'll find you actually grow closer to one another in the process.
• SQUARE - Don't be. Need I say more?

Regardless of your current "Marriage Shape," the two of you - are one. One flesh, one love - one new life. That means - leave and cleave. Mom and Dad are now great advisors, now and then make a great point, but they're not a point on your marriage TRIANGLE. "Draw" closer together - draw closer to God.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Class is over for now. Sure, math can be difficult, but study (your spouse) and do your "homework." Be at the top of your class!

Blessings for a "first class" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

Thanks for spreading the word and caring about marriages!

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #30

Day 30: Love Brings Unity

ISOLATE ONE AREA OF DIVISION IN YOUR MARRIAGE, AND LOOK ON TODAY AS A FRESH OPPORTUNITY TO PRAY ABOUT IT. ASK THE LORD TO REVEAL ANYTHING IN YOUR OWN HEART THAT IS THREATENING ONENESS WITH YOUR SPOUSE. PRAY THAT HE WOULD DO THE SAME FOR THEM. AND IF APPROPRIATE, DISCUSS THIS MATTER OPENLY, SEEKING GOD FOR UNITY.

With varying degrees of skills, talents, and personality styles, it's difficult to achieve unity in a marriage. Unity, however, does not mean uniformity. We accomplish unity when we adapt and appreciate our differences. We see unity achieved in perfection through the compelling mystery of the Trinity - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

God created marriage as one aspect of unity, as well. When you became husband and wife, you became one - two bodies, but "one flesh." God also used the image of marriage to describe His most beloved "bride" - the church. Christ (the bridegroom) gave Himself up for his bride seeing her "as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" (Ephesians 5:27). How do you perceive your spouse?

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, that they may be one even as We are" (John 17:11).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Oneness, intertwined, and complete. Do everything possible to honor, lift up, and sacrifice for your spouse today. Do the marriage math - 1+1=1 (a "one-derful" marriage).

Blessings for "one-derful" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #29

Day 29: Love's Motivation

BEFORE YOU SEE YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN TODAY, PRAY FOR THEM BY NAME AND FOR THEIR NEEDS. WHETHER IT COMES EASY FOR YOU OR NOT, SAY "I LOVE YOU," THEN EXPRESS LOVE TO THEM IN SOME TANGIBLE WAY. GO TO GOD IN PRAYER AGAIN, THANKING HIM FOR GIVING YOU THE PRIVILEGE OF LOVING THIS ONE SPECIAL PERSON - UNCONDITIONALLY, THEY WAY HE LOVES BOTH OF YOU.

Sure, you tried to show love, but it just wasn't accepted. You've been considerate, thoughtful, and completed every LOVE DARE so far, but your spouse - forget it. Initially, you were motivated to do what it takes, but lost the inspiration to demonstrate love anymore. The marriage is not breathing. You're done.

Whew. Thank goodness, God doesn't think like we do! He's never done. He never gives up on us. He loves - unconditionally, regardless, and yes, even when these flawed little human beings don't deserve it. To love within our own ability is futile. Focus first on loving God - then loving your spouse "as to the Lord."

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men" (Ephesians 6:7).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: If you'll focus on loving your spouse as God loves you today - you'll be able to breathe fresh oxygen into your marriage. Marriage CPR - start pumping.

Blessings for "refreshing" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)