LOVE DARE #28

Day 28: Love Makes Sacrifices

WHAT IS ONE OF THE GREATEST NEEDS IN YOUR SPOUSE'S LIFE RIGHT NOW? IS THERE A NEED YOU COULD LIFT FROM THEIR SHOULDERS TODAY BY A DARING ACT OF SACRIFICE ON YOUR PART? WHETHER THE NEED IS BIG OR SMALL, PURPOSE TO DO WHAT YOU CAN TO MEET THE NEED.

Life is hard, marriage is hard, and these LOVE DARES are hard! Looking for that "Easy Road" exit? If we're to follow the road Jesus took, we're to lay down our lives for others. He taught us to recognize the needs in others and do all we can to stay on the path - lend a hand and be a blessing.

Too often, we don't recognize our spouse's need until we hear it voiced. Then we consider it a "complaint" rather than an opportunity to be their champion, supporter, and teammate. Respond before you're asked today. Take the "High Road." Pray for the best way to help.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers" (1 John 3:16 HCSB).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Go into action mode. If troubles have buried your spouse - start digging.

Blessings for "safe travels" today,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #27

Day 27: Love Encourages

ELIMINATE THE POISON OF UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS IN YOUR HOME. THINK OF ONE AREA WHERE YOUR SPOUSE HAS TOLD YOU YOU'RE EXPECTING TOO MUCH, AND TELL THEM YOU'RE SORRY FOR BEING SO HARD ON THEM ABOUT IT. PROMISE THEM YOU'LL SEEK TO UNDERSTAND, AND ASSURE THEM OF YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

A "speck inspector" - he or she who notices the speck in your eye, not the log in their own. Speck inspectors "inspect" and "expect" unrealistic performances and accomplishments. They downplay their own negative attributes, while placing their spouse's failures under a magnifying glass!

Loving spouses, on the other hand, establish a safe environment, positive and encouraging. When you fall down, a loving spouse lifts you up. Sure, there are disappointments, unmet needs, hurt feelings, and failures. Love protects and supports - bending over backwards to encourage.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed for I take refuge in You" (Psalm 25:20).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Love doesn't discourage - love encourages. Don't "inspect," but "respect" each other. Allow freedom for mistakes as an opportunity to grow and encourage one another.

Blessings for a "positive and encouraging" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #26

Day 26: Love is Responsible

TAKE TIME TO PRAY THROUGH YOUR AREAS OF WRONGDOING. ASK FOR GOD'S FORGIVENESS, THEN HUMBLE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO ADMIT THEM TO YOUR SPOUSE. DO IT SINCERELY AND TRUTHFULLY. ASK YOUR SPOUSE FOR FORGIVENESS AS WELL. NO MATTER HOW THEY RESPOND, MAKE SURE YOU COVER YOUR RESPONSIBILITY IN LOVE. EVEN IF THEY RESPOND WITH CRITICISM, ACCEPT IT BY RECEIVING IT AS COUNSEL.

What's your favorite game? I wonder, without realizing it, how many of us would choose the "blame game?" After all, we do seem to play it quite often. It's easy to play, that is - to find fault, to blame someone else - particularly our spouse.

Have you wronged your spouse and never apologized - never rectified the situation? Have you failed to ask for forgiveness, been a little prideful? Admitting mistakes is our responsibility - difficult, but God will give you the strength to take this step - in order to keep His favor. God wants no unresolved issues in your marriage.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge do the same things" (Romans 2:1).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Love doesn't make excuses, blame others. Love is more concerned with the needs of others. Love takes responsibility and makes a positive difference.

Blessings for a "blame-free" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #25

Day 25: Love Forgives

WHATEVER YOU HAVEN'T FORGIVEN IN YOUR MATE, FORGIVE IT TODAY. LET IT GO. JUST AS WE ASK JESUS TO "FORGIVE US OUR DEBTS" EACH DAY, WE MUST ASK HIM TO HELP US "FORGIVE OUR DEBTORS" EACH DAY AS WELL. UNFORGIVENESS HAS BEEN KEEPING YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE IN PRISON TOO LONG. SAY FROM YOUR HEART, "I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE."

Hang on - this is a tough one. In fact, we could safely say this is the toughest LOVE DARE of all. Counselors verify, ministers confirm - forgiveness must happen or a marriage won't succeed. But, how can we forgive those scandalous acts? Jesus is a perfect example.

Will forgiveness exonerate your spouse; get them off the hook with no repercussions? Let's allow God to handle that one. (He's fully qualified.) In the meantime, forgiveness breeds peace and empathy - a "weight" lifted off your shoulders. That's a "diet" of true love and acceptance - acceptance not of the behavior, but of God's will for your marriage.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ" (2 Corinthians 2:10).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: No marriage is exempt from hurtful actions, wrongdoings, or damage done, but great marriages keep "no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5).

Blessings for a "forgetful" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #24

Day 24: Love vs. Lust

END IT NOW. IDENTIFY EVERY OBJECT OF LUST IN YOUR LIFE AND REMOVE IT. SINGLE OUT EVERY LIE YOU'VE SWALLOWED IN PURSING FORBIDDEN PLEASURE AND REJECT IT. LUST CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO LIVE IN A BACK BEDROOM. IT MUST BE KILLED AND DESTROYED - TODAY - AND REPLACED WITH THE SURE PROMISES OF GOD AND A HEART FILLED WITH HIS PERFECT LOVE.

"I want it, I deserve it, therefore..." You know the rest; we go after it. Once we get it, we want something else. What is it about the "forbidden fruit" that entices us so? Remember the expression, "the devil made me do it?" BINGO. But, the devil doesn't work alone - not without our cooperation.

Lust makes us dissatisfied with our lives, so we set our hearts on something forbidden - worldly pleasures - another person, a bigger house, snazzy car, and yes, even food. (After all, lust began with a piece of fruit.) Lust consumes our thoughts, but it's the opposite of love. In fact, lust is the first step out of fellowship with God - who provides all we need for true contentment and lasting joy.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "The world is passing away, and also it's lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever" (1 John 2:17).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Lust always breeds more lust - an endless cycle of dissatisfaction. Only God can fulfill and satisfy the desires of our hearts. Take action. Do whatever you need to do to receive the full, productive life God planned for you.

Blessings for a "lust-free" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #23

Day 23: Love Always Protects

REMOVE ANYTHING THAT IS HINDERING YOUR RELATIONSHIP, ANY ADDICTION OR INFLUENCE THAT'S STEALING YOUR AFFECTIONS AND TURNING YOUR HEART AWAY FROM YOUR SPOUSE.

"Lunch - why not? It's business related; my spouse will just have to understand." So - it began. Or how about, "I love these romance novels - they help me escape from my boring marriage." Or maybe, "It's just one click - I won't look again." And, so it began. It all begins somewhere - the affair, the addiction, the cranky attitude, the stolen heart. Parasites.

Parasites - they come in various disguises. At first, a parasite seems innocent enough, harmless, no big deal - until it sucks the life right out of a marriage. How do we deal with it? Destroy it - immediately. If you've seen the "Fireproof" movie, you've seen how the husband dealt with his pornography problem - smashed that computer to pieces. That's radical determination to destroy the parasite. That's exactly what it takes - conviction, courage, willpower - to succeed.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Love always protects" (1 Corinthians 13:7).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Resolve to protect your marriage - be radical if you must - it'll be worth it. Do your part - begin right now.

Blessings for a "parasite-free" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #22

Day 22: Love is Faithful

LOVE IS A CHOICE, NOT A FEELING. IT IS AN INITIATED ACTION, NOT A KNEE-JERK REACTION. CHOOSE TODAY TO BE COMMITTED TO LOVE EVEN IF YOUR SPOUSE HAS LOST MOST OF THEIR INTEREST IN RECEIVING IT. SAY TO THEM TODAY IN WORDS SIMILAR TO THESE, "I LOVE YOU. PERIOD. I CHOOSE TO LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME IN RETURN."

"I do." Precious words - proclaimed with dreams, hopes, and expectations of riding off into the sunset. Soon, however, Prince Charming became alarming - and the beautiful Queen became mean! The castle became a mess - children arrived, bills showed up, disappointments set in. That cherished spouse - now the enemy. Who would have thought?

But God said, "love anyway." Love as Jesus loves. Love in spite of - love when you don't even like. Want an example? Read the book of Hosea. The prophet, Hosea, was married to a real piece of work, but God told Hosea to love his wife in spite of her behavior. This is a perfect example of God's love for us - unconditional - faithful. How can we possibly demonstrate that kind of faithfulness? Only by the power of the King of Kings. Choose it (before it's too late).

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord" (Hosea 2:20).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: God continues to love us when at times - we have been downright unlovable. Love stays faithful; love loves. Be pro-active, not re-active today.

Blessings for a "faith full" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #21

Day 21: Love is Satisfied in God
 
BE INTENTIONAL TODAY ABOUT MAKING A TIME TO PRAY AND READ YOUR BIBLE. TRY READING A CHAPTER OUT OF PROVERBS EACH DAY (THERE ARE THIRTY-ONE - A FULL MONTH'S SUPPLY), OR READING A CHAPTER IN THE GOSPELS (MATTHEW, MARK, LUKE, AND JOHN). AS YOU DO, IMMERSE YOURSELF IN THE LOVE AND PROMISES GOD HAS FOR YOU. THIS WILL ADD TO YOUR GROWTH AS YOU WALK WITH HIM.
 
Some of you may have encountered this "LOVE DARE" journey with miraculous transformations and benefits. Some may feel alone and dissatisfied. Regardless of the circumstances, you are never alone. Your spouse may have let you down (you may have let your spouse down), but God will never - ever - let us down. He will always lift us up.
 
Yesterday was an important "LOVE DARE." Depending on your walk with God - new territory or a well-worn path - God is on this journey with you. Can your spouse meet every need? No, but God can. Can your spouse give you a peace that surpasses all understanding? No, but...God can. First, you must seek Him. You will find Him - when you seek Him with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13).
 
VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire" (Isaiah 58:11).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: God - the Creator of the universe - can do all things. He can - and will - meet every need. He loves us beyond our comprehension.
 
Blessings for a "very satisfying" day,
Dale and Susan Crook
 
(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #20

Day 20: Love is Jesus Christ
 
DARE TO TAKE GOD AT HIS WORD. DARE TO TRUST JESUS CHRIST FOR SALVATION. DARE TO PRAY, "LORD JESUS, I'M A SINNER. BUT YOU HAVE SHOWN YOUR LOVE FOR ME BY DYING TO FORGIVE MY SINS, AND YOU HAVE PROVEN YOUR POWER TO SAVE ME FROM DEATH BY YOUR RESURRECTION. LORD, CHANGE MY HEART, AND SAVE ME BY YOUR GRACE."
 
We're halfway through the LOVE DARES and halfway until Valentine's Day! Question - have you made your reservations? Smoking or non-smoking? I'm not talking about your favorite restaurant (but do that, too). I'm referring to your eternal reservations.
 
What's that mean? When our journey on this earth is complete and our purpose is fulfilled, how can we confirm we’re going to heaven? It's simple. First, we recognize our sin and ask for forgiveness. Because God loves us, He sent His Son, Jesus - who never sinned - to die in our place on the cross - as payment for our sin. PAID IN FULL. You can be confident of confirmed reservations in heaven when you ask Christ to come into your heart - then seek to live a life pleasing to God - and experience the unexplainable joy!
 
To begin this personal relationship with God, follow the THREE A's to a new life.
 
1) Acknowledge your sin
2) Ask for forgiveness
3) Affirm your belief by praying a prayer like this:
 
Dear God, I understand I am a sinner and I thank you for forgiving my sins. I believe Jesus died for my sins. I accept His merciful gift of eternal life and I ask you to come into my heart. From this day forward I choose to follow You in humble obedience and earnestly seek Your will for my life. In Jesus' name, Amen.
 
Regardless of where you've been or where you are in life, be assured that God loves you and has a purpose for your life. His arms are open - for you. Rejoice!
 
VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly" (Romans 5:6).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Want a marriage made in heaven? (Yes, yes…so is thunder and lightning.) Love your spouse as Christ loves you - with all the flaws and imperfections. Only through God’s power - can we do this fully.
 
Blessings for a "heavenly" day,
Dale and Susan Crook
 
If you prayed this prayer for the first time, please let someone know! It's exciting - it's life changing – it’s heavenly!
 
(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #19

Day 19: Love is Impossible

LOOK BACK OVER THE DARES FROM PREVIOUS DAYS. WERE THERE SOME THAT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE TO YOU? HAVE YOU REALIZED YOUR NEED FOR GOD TO CHANGE YOUR HEART AND TO GIVE YOU THE ABILITY TO LOVE? ASK HIM TO SHOW YOU WHERE YOU STAND WITH HIM, AND ASK FOR THE STRENGTH AND GRACE TO SETTLE YOUR ETERNAL DESTINATION.

Okay, don't laugh. When you were little, did you ever wish you lived with the Jetson family? (Animated cartoon show - did I just give away my age?) The Jetsons could travel in their miniature rockets to planet Jupiter to work, play on Neptune, or make things happen with the push of a button.

Didn't happen, though - not within my power. In fact, there are many things not within my power - most things. However, I can tap into God's power. So can you. Things are impossible without God's power - even impossible to fully love, forgive, and enjoy your spouse - your life. So, how do we get that kind of power? Only one way - by asking Jesus into our hearts through faith in Him (John 3:16). Go ahead, check it out. You'll be glad you made this "trip" - it affects your eternal destination.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God" (1 John 4:7).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Surrender (yourself), receive (His power), and do the impossible - (Matthew 19:26).

Blessings for "safe travel" today,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #18

Day 18: Love Seeks to Understand

PREPARE A SPECIAL DINNER AT HOME, JUST FOR THE TWO OF YOU. THE DINNER CAN BE AS NICE AS YOU PREFER. FOCUS THIS TIME ON GETTING TO KNOW YOUR SPOUSE BETTER, PERHAPS IN AREAS YOU'VE RARELY TALKED ABOUT. DETERMINE TO MAKE IT AN ENJOYABLE EVENING FOR YOU AND YOUR MATE.

We can safely assume that all of us have some kind of an education - accomplishing diverse degrees at various levels. What level would you say your education is regarding your spouse? When you dated, you spent numerous hours doing your "homework" to develop a deeper level of knowledge and understanding. Have you continued with your studies? Have you gone beyond the "elementary" stages?

If we get a new phone, we educate ourselves on how it works. We master new tools, new career assignments, search through parenting magazines or recipe books - honing our skills until we get things just right. We didn't learn everything we needed to know instantly. Education and understanding is a journey, a process. Study your marriage syllabus, embrace changes, do your homework, and enjoy the life-long learning process.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding" (Proverbs 3:13).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: What would your marriage report card reveal? Don't let your marriage fail. Sharpen your marriage pencil, study your spouse, pass the tests, and make the grade. Advance to the next level!

Blessings for an "A+" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #17

Day 17: Love Promotes Intimacy

DETERMINE TO GUARD YOUR MATE'S SECRETS (UNLESS THEY ARE DANGEROUS TO THEM OR TO YOU) AND TO PRAY FOR THEM. TALK WITH YOUR SPOUSE, AND RESOLVE TO DEMONSTRATE LOVE IN SPITE OF THESE ISSUES. REALLY LISTEN TO THEM WHEN THEY SHARE PERSONAL THOUGHTS AND STRUGGLES WITH YOU. MAKE THEM FEEL SAFE.

We've enjoyed friends of all ages and stages in our lives - childhood, college, neighbors, church friends, and yes, even Facebook friends. All have the potential to make great memories, love, and support us. But none, I mean none - replace the intimacy and friendship we experience (should experience) in marriage.

In marriage, we share a home, finances, special evenings and morning breath. Along with commonalities, we brought in baggage and personal secrets. Some need to be corrected - some need to be accepted and protected. That's what God (who knows every teeny tiny detail about us) does. He loves us at a depth beyond our imagination and makes us feel safe. Do you?

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends" (Proverbs 17:9).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Commit to helping your spouse feel loved - and safe. Rebuild trust and intimacy. Make your home a safe haven.

Blessings for an "intimate" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #16

Day 16: Love Intercedes

BEGIN PRAYING TODAY FOR YOUR SPOUSE'S HEART. PRAY FOR THREE SPECIFIC AREAS WHERE YOU DESIRE FOR GOD TO WORK IN YOUR SPOUSE'S LIFE AND IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

Day 16. First, a quick question - did you take on the challenge of the 40-DAY LOVE DARE to improve your marriage and become a better partner - or to change your spouse? (It's okay; we'll keep it between us.) Granted, if you carry out each dare your spouse will likely be affected, but we can't change them. That's God's job.

The "Love Dare" book uses the analogy of the "wise farmer." A farmer plants a seed into fertile soil - then waters, fertilizes, and pulls the weeds. After that, he turns it over to God to grow - to bloom - to produce a harvest. A wise farmer prays.

Prayer is powerful - prayer changes circumstances - prayer is a spiritual phenomenon that produces miraculous results. Been griping or nagging? How's that working for you? Pray instead.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers" (3 John 2).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: You know your spouse well - their needs, their faults, their dreams. Pray for them - intercede for them. Pray for a bountiful growth in your marriage.

Blessings for a great day of harvest,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #15

Day 15: Love is Honorable

CHOOSE A WAY TO SHOW HONOR AND RESPECT TO YOUR SPOUSE THAT IS ABOVE YOUR NORMAL ROUTINE. IT MAY BE HOLDING THE DOOR FOR HER. IT MIGHT BE PUTTING HIS CLOTHES AWAY FOR HIM. IT MAY BE THE WAY YOU LISTEN AND SPEAK IN YOUR COMMUNICATION. SHOW YOUR MATE THAT HE OR SHE IS HIGHLY ESTEEMED IN YOUR EYES.

We address certain government officials as honorable. We consider one's life to be of honorable service. When we think of honor, we think of respect, high esteem. However, have you ever considered your spouse to be honorable?

The basis of the word honor is holy. When we entered holy matrimony, we promised to love, honor, and respect. So what's holy mean? To be set apart. We're to "set apart" our spouse from everyone else - everything else. An expensive antique vase, a prized heirloom, a crusty old photo or a brand new car - we set apart - highly value. Love honors the marriage partner - even when they don't deserve it.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Live with your wives in an understanding way...and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life" (1 Peter 3:7).

THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Would your spouse say you value and honor them? How about behind closed doors? Prove it.

Blessings for an "honorable" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #14

Day 14: Love Takes Delight

PURPOSEFULLY NEGLECT AN ACTIVITY YOU WOULD NORMALLY DO SO YOU CAN SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR SPOUSE. DO SOMETHING HE OR SHE WOULD LOVE TO DO OR A PROJECT THEY'D REALLY LIKE TO WORK ON. JUST BE TOGETHER.

So, here you are - married. You traded the sports car for the minivan; traded sipping iced tea on the patio - to sippy cups on the floor. Your soul mate has become your roommate. From sparkle to fizzle. But wait! There's more!

No fire continues to burn on its own. Logs need to be added - fuel to keep the fire burning. What are you - specifically you - doing to keep the fire burning in your marriage? Sure, at the beginning of a relationship, love captured your heart. After a while, you felt captured all right - like living in a prison.

But, we can't operate on our feelings. We must choose to love - choose to add more fuel to our marriage fire. We must choose to notice the beautiful flames and enjoy the warmth, not focus on the ashes below. Lock arms, hold hands, better yet, embrace. Embrace each other, embrace your marriage, embrace the life God has given you - where you are, not where you wish you were.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life" (Ecclesiastes 9:9 HCSB).

THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Delight in your marriage as it is today. Make plans to add more fuel.

Blessings for an "fired-up" marriage today,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #13

Day 13: Love Fights Fair

TALK WITH YOUR SPOUSE ABOUT ESTABLISHING HEALTHY RULES OF ENGAGEMENT. IF YOUR MATE IS NOT READY FOR THIS, THEN WRITE OUT YOUR OWN PERSONAL RULES TO "FIGHT" BY. RESOLVE TO ABIDE BY THEM WHEN THE NEXT DISAGREEMENT OCCURS.

Because God created us as individuals with different interests, dreams, and personality styles, conflict is inevitable. Every couple experiences it, but not every couple survives it. No marriage is exempt from conflict, but it doesn't have to be a death sentence if we approach conflict with established guidelines and boundaries. Below are a few guidelines Dale and I use:

1. Never "discuss" issues or make major decisions when we're tired
2. Set a time to discuss later
3. Keep past issues buried
4. Agree to disagree (without bitterness)
5. Always show respect verbally (and physically)
6. Hush up and listen (God created us with two ears, one mouth - on purpose!)
7. Quitting is not an option ("D" word - not in our vocabulary). We will work it out no matter what.

Couples who understand and work through conflict can actually enjoy a deeper connection and grow closer in the process. Remember, love is worth fighting for.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand" (Mark 3:25).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: It's how you handle conflict that determines if your marriage will survive it. Fight fair - fight for your marriage.

Blessings for an "outstanding" marriage today,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #12

Day 12: Love Lets the Other Win

DEMONSTRATE LOVE BY WILLINGLY CHOOSING TO GIVE IN TO AN AREA OF DISAGREEMENT BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE. TELL THEM YOU ARE PUTTING THEIR PREFERENCE FIRST.

Depending on your personality style, today's dare could be a tough one. Some of us strive to win - no matter what - and all of us enjoy winning. Although Dale and I both have strong personality styles, something we learned a long time ago was that it's more important for our marriage to win - rather than getting our own way.

Difference of opinion? Seek God's plan, not your own. He will not give polarized answers. For example, one of you may want more children, to buy a new house, or to home-school your kids - while the other one does not. It's simple - seek not your will, but pray for God's will.

Regarding less important decisions (paint colors, restaurant choices, etc.) - be flexible, cooperate, and willing to put your marriage first. Are you refusing to give in because of pride? Give it up and choose to honor your mate. Let your spouse know he/she is more important to you than winning.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others" (Philippians 2:4).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: If it doesn't matter in the long run, it doesn't matter. You've heard the saying - win the war, not the battle.

Blessings for a "winning" day,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #11

Day 11: Love Cherishes

WHAT NEED DOES YOUR SPOUSE HAVE THAT YOU COULD MEET TODAY? CAN YOU RUN AN ERRAND? GIVE A BACK RUB OR FOOT MASSAGE? IS THERE HOUSEWORK YOU COULD HELP WITH? CHOOSE A GESTURE THAT SAYS, "I CHERISH YOU" AND DO IT WITH A SMILE.

Yesterday we discussed loving "in sickness and in health." If you were sick - news of a terrible disease - would you immediately take action to get well? If our marriage was "sick," would we take action? If our car breaks down - we fix it. Our roof leaks, we repair it. However, some of us treat our marriage like an old shirt. Worn out, outgrown? Just get a new one.

A few flaws - a weakness here or there - becomes an opportunity to discard the old - go for something new. If we love - we cherish. We nourish - we help one another grow through it. We mend, we fix, we bring "marriage chicken soup" to comfort and heal. Because we're one - if our spouse is hurting, we're hurting. Care for your spouse with the same love and tenderness you would - for yourself.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28). (And I might add - visa versa.)

THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Add marriage glue - stick together. Add marriage fertilizer - grow together. Add marriage vitamins - get healthy - together.

Blessings for a day to "cherish" forever,
Dale and Susan Crook

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #10

Day #10 – Love is Unconditional

DO SOMETHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY TODAY FOR YOUR SPOUSE – SOMETHING THAT PROVES (TO YOU AND TO THEM) THAT YOUR LOVE IS BASED ON YOUR CHOICE AND NOTHING ELSE. WASH HER CAR. CLEAN THE KITCHEN. BUY HIS FAVORITE DESSERT. FOLD THE LAUNDRY. DEMONSTRATE LOVE TO THEM FOR THE SHEER JOY OF BEING THEIR PARTNER IN MARRIAGE.

I love him because… he’s tall, dark, and handsome; he provides for our family, athletic, considerate, and plays with the kids. Or - I love her because… she’s so pretty, a great cook, energetic, life of the party, and a creative mom.

But, what happens when all this changes –kids gone, he/she’s not so athletic and energetic, and well - the inevitable wrinkles thing. If we love our spouse for the above mentioned qualities, then when these qualities diminish, so does the marriage. Unconditional love consists of loving regardless, loving in spite of, loving no matter what. Bald? You love him. Larger than life thighs? You love her. No teeth? Okay, go to the dentist.

In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse. This defines God’s love for us – does it define your love for your spouse?

VERSE FOR TODAY’S DARE: “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY’S DARE: True love is a commitment, not based on feelings or circumstances. Therefore, the “I love him/her because…” becomes - “I love him/her, period.”

Commit to a "true love" day today,
Dale and Susan

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #9

Day 9: Love Makes Good Impressions

THINK OF A SPECIFIC WAY YOU'D LIKE TO GREET YOUR SPOUSE TODAY. DO IT WITH A SMILE AND WITH ENTHUSIASM. THEN DETERMINE TO CHANGE YOUR GREETING TO REFLECT YOUR LOVE FOR THEM.

It's been a long day at work. You walk through the door to greet your spouse and immediately hear, "My day was awful! The kids did this - or my coworker did that. I wish we had more money, I wish you'd help more. I'm drained, I'm exhausted - I'm wondering why you're avoiding me again." Sound familiar? Tooooo familiar?

When you greet your spouse, knock their socks off. When they think of you, make sure they can't wait to experience the joy, peace, and love they feel when they're around you. Home is our safe haven. Regardless of how the day went, first greet with warmth, enthusiasm, and thankfulness to see one another - every time.

Remember the story in Luke 15:20 - the father ran to greet and embrace his prodigal son? Imagine the story (the detrimental results) if the father would have complained instead. So, what's your story?

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Greet one another with a kiss of love" (1 Peter 5:14).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Run, don't walk to meet, greet, and increase the heat in your home. (It's okay - it's "Fireproof!")

Make this an "impressive" day,
Dale and Susan

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #8

Day 8: Love is Not Jealous

DETERMINE TO BECOME YOUR SPOUSE'S BIGGEST FAN AND TO REJECT ANY THOUGHTS OF JEALOUSY. TO HELP YOU SET YOUR HEART ON YOUR SPOUSE AND FOCUS ON THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS, TAKE YESTERDAY'S LIST OF NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTES AND DISCREETLY BURN IT. THEN SHARE WITH YOUR SPOUSE HOW GLAD YOU ARE ABOUT A SUCCESS HE OR SHE RECENTLY ENJOYED.

Just between us, do you struggle with feelings of jealousy? Your coworker received the promotion. Your friend has more friends, cuter clothes, better golf score, bigger house, smarter kids, or worst of all - smaller thighs. Or - maybe you're jealous of your spouse. He wears clothes the entire day without spit-up. She didn't have to risk her life on treacherous "glistening and sparkling" snow-covered roads today - to pay the bills. He gets to eat out for lunch; she gets all the mac-n-cheese she wants every day.

Love is not jealous. Love promotes, love encourages, and love rejoices in successes. Throw a celebration party - not a pity party. God says we're to complete one another, not compete with one another. Be their #1 fan!

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice" (James 3:16).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: You're on the same team. Choose to get out of the grandstand and in the game. Go, fight (for your marriage), and WIN!

Make this a "victorious" day,
Dale and Susan

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #7

Day 7: Love Believes the Best

FOR TODAY'S DARE, GET TWO SHEETS OF PAPER. ON THE FIRST ONE, SPEND A FEW MINUTES WRITING OUT POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE. THEN DO THE SAME WITH NEGATIVE THINGS ON THE SECOND SHEET. PLACE BOTH SHEETS IN A SECRET PLACE FOR ANOTHER DAY. THERE IS A DIFFERENT PURPOSE AND PLAN FOR EACH. AT SOME POINT DURING THE REMAINDER OF THE DAY, PICK A POSITIVE ATTRIBUTE FROM THE FIRST LIST AND THANK YOUR SPOUSE FOR HAVING THIS CHARACTERISTIC.

The response to the "40 DAY LOVE DARE" emails has been beyond what we ever could have imagined. God is at work and apparently, so are you! Obviously, you want the best for your marriage, but - do you believe the best - do you do your best?

As I look out the window (behind my computer screen), fresh snow is covering our backyard. It looks like God laid an enormous white blanket over all the muck and mud. The running creek is now frozen - the previously brown and lifeless backdrop sparkles a glistening white!

Is your marriage lifeless - full of muck and mud - frozen in the past? Why not sparkle? You too, can cover your marriage with fresh positive thoughts - freeze the negative - ditch the dirt - and blanket your spouse with love today.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Love believes all things, hopes all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Develop the habit to rein in the negative thoughts (pray) and focus on the positive attributes of your spouse. Believe the best!

Make this your best snow day ever,
Dale and Susan

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #6

Day 6: Love is Not Irritable
 
CHOOSE TODAY TO REACT TO TOUGH CIRCUMSTANCES IN YOUR MARRIAGE IN LOVING WAYS INSTEAD OF WITH IRRITATION. BEGIN BY MAKING A LIST OF AREAS WHERE YOU NEED TO ADD MARGIN TO YOUR SCHEDULE. THEN LIST ANY WRONG MOTIVATIONS THAT YOU NEED TO RELEASE FROM YOUR LIFE.

Yesterday's LOVE DARE may have prompted a bit of irritation. After all, who wants to hear about those "issues" that need improvement? The person who wants a "Championship Marriage" does! By the way, it's probably about time to increase your prayers for protection because Satan's loading the ammunition. Yes, that's irritating, but remember - we're not to be irritable.

We have a rule in our house - no "discussions" after 10 pm. We're tired, we're worn out, and too deficient to hold a "constructive conversation." It usually ends with a cranky, tired, cantankerous, and irritable spouse (the one with the longer hair) apologizing. Set perimeters, plan to talk soon, and don't hold a grudge.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city." (Proverbs 16:32).

THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Strive to remain calm and patient, restrain your temper, exhibit self-control, and keep the molehill - a molehill. Make love the "mountaintop" experience in your home!

Blessings for a non-irritating day,
Dale and Susan
(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #5

Day 5: Love is Not Rude

ASK YOUR SPOUSE TO TELL YOU THREE THINGS THAT CAUSE HIM OR HER TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE OR IRRITATED WITH YOU. YOU MUST DO SO WITHOUT ATTACKING THEM OR JUSTIFYING YOUR BEHAVIOR. THIS IS FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE ONLY.

This could be a painful dare. Can we really listen to what our spouse has to say without defending ourselves? Are we tough enough, confident enough, love enough to take on this challenge?

Have you ever heard "someone else" yelling at the top of their lungs when the phone rings? Suddenly their tone is as delightful as can be. You hear a chipper, perky voice answer, "helloooo." Sometimes the politeness we show strangers or friends is much different than at home.

Genuine love minds its manners, avoids sarcastic remarks, and doesn't act unbecoming (spiteful, malicious, wicked or nasty - or disgusting - or nauseating). Love exercises self-control - even in small matters. Love practices the Golden Rule.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him." (Proverbs 27:14).

THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Would your spouse say, "You're a blessing" or, ”Sometimes you’re a teeny, tiny bit rude when…”? Starting today - we take it to a higher standard!

Blessings to you,
Dale and Susan

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #4

Day 4: Love is Thoughtful

"CONTACT YOUR SPOUSE SOMETIME DURING THE BUSINESS OF THE DAY. HAVE NO AGENDA OTHER THAN ASKING HOW HE OR SHE IS DOING AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU COULD DO FOR THEM."

Remember when you first met your spouse? You could not stop thinking about him/her! You wondered what he/she was doing, reminisced about the previous time spent together, even laughed at their jokes! Socks on the floor? "How cute. I'll be able to help this person!" Then... (hear the Jaws theme song?) the signing of the notorious marriage license. Not so funny anymore.

Life got busy - work, kids, romance sizzled out along with a few unmet needs and expectations. You've been disappointed, hurt, and possibly angry - or really hacked! Time to make them pay, right? Not so fast (the patience thing). Love requires thoughtfulness - yes, even when undeserved. Love calls us to meet in the middle, respect, appreciate, and help our spouse.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "How precious also are Your thoughts to me... How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand." (Psalm 139:18).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Communicate your concerns, forgive the past, focus on good thoughts today. Today's thoughts can affect tomorrow's outcome. Make that call!

Blessings,
Dale and Susan

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #3

Day 3: Love is Not Selfish

"WHATEVER YOU PUT YOUR TIME, ENERGY, AND MONEY INTO WILL BECOME MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU. IT'S HARD TO CARE FOR SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT INVESTING IN. ALONG WITH RESTRAINING FROM NEGATIVE COMMENTS, BUY YOUR SPOUSE SOMETHING THAT SAYS, 'I WAS THINKING OF YOU TODAY.'"

With current struggling economic conditions, financial gifts may be a strain for you right now, however, does your spouse enjoy a favorite pack of gum? How about a favorite candy bar or granola bar, an inexpensive book, one beautiful flower, favorite magazine, fuzzy socks for a cold winter's night (especially if there's no fire burning right now!)? Or diamonds - if you must. Go the extra mile - fix a favorite meal, rolls from scratch (give me your address), cool basketball, new tackle box or a new sewing box. The list is endless.

It's giving from your heart that matters, but giving when it's truly sacrificial. Giving when you've identified what's important to your spouse - because you know your spouse. (Keep in mind, if you give generously for bragging rights later or for a reward in return - it's - yes, considered selfish.)

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3).

THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Deliberately and specifically sacrifice your wants for your spouse's wants - for the greater purpose of your marriage.

Dale and I are also "thinking of you today." We're praying for your marriages and asking you to pray for one another as well. Let the "Marriage Revolution" begin!

Blessings,
Dale and Susan

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

LOVE DARE #2

Day 2: Love is Kind

"IN ADDITION TO SAYING NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN TODAY, DO AT LEAST ONE UNEXPECTED GESTURE AS AN ACT OF KINDNESS."

Yesterday our LOVE DARE was patience - controlling our emotions and avoiding anger. Today we'll focus on being a blessing to our spouse - showing kindness. Patience deals with a reactive behavior, while kindness is proactive. The "Love Dare" book breaks kindness into four categories:

1. GENTLENESS - Be sensitive and tender when speaking - never harsh.
2. HELPFULNESS - Meet the needs of the moment. Housework? Let's get busy. A listening ear? Pull up a chair.
3. WILLINGNESS - Cooperate, stay flexible, avoid complaining - accommodate.
4. INITIATIVE - The kind spouse will be the first one to greet, smile, serve, and yes, forgive.

VERSE FOR TODAY'S DARE: "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32).
THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S DARE: Don't wait for your spouse to be the first one to be kind. Grab a match - start the fire.

Blessings to you as we continue on this forty day journey together. Your comments reveal God truly is at work. We're praying for you!
Dale and Susan

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick to gain additional information and record your results.)

LOVE DARE #1

Today begins the first of the forty day “Love Dare” emails, culminating on Feb. 12th. On Sunday, Feb. 13th Dale and I will teach a onetime “Championship Marriage” class at College Church – just in time for Valentine’s Day. If you’ve not had a chance to watch the movie, “Fireproof,” do so as soon as possible. (We would be happy to share a copy with you if you need one.) Regardless if your marriage is blazing and amazing – or a fizzle with no sizzle, it’s never too late to ignite the fire! :) (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) It’s our prayer that the marriages of the people we know and love (that’s you) burn with a passion for a “Championship Marriage.” In 2011, let’s all lock arms and encourage one another – pray for one another – to win – and to never settle for just a mediocre marriage. Fire up!

Day 1: Love is Patient

Although we communicate love in a number of ways, words often reflect the condition of our hearts. For today’s dare, resolve to demonstrate patience and to speak only positive words to your spouse. If the temptation arises to complain, hold your tongue rather than to say something you'll regret.

When choosing to be patient, we choose to respond in a positive way to a negative situation. When we're slow to anger, we extend mercy. We choose to control our emotions rather than allowing our emotions to control us. Anger stems from not getting something we want - a reaction based on selfishness. And exhibiting patience reveals wisdom.

VERSE FOR TODAY’S DARE: "He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly" (Proverbs 14:29).

THOUGHT FOR TODAY’S DARE: Few of us easily demonstrate patience well, but wise men and women pursue it. So today, our first dare to express true love begins with - patience.

(Want to take it a step further? Purchase the “Love Dare” book by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick for additional information and to record your results.)

Blessings to you as we embark on this forty day journey together!
Dale and Susan